We asked executives in our Leader Program for a piece of advice they wish they had received at the start of their career and we’re thrilled to be passing on the knowledge in this bi-weekly series, I Wish I’d Known.
By: Danielle Wood via Fairygodboss
Being good at your job means more than mastering a set of skills. It’s not just about what you do, but how you do it. Getting things done by blunt force may work in the short term, but in the long term, you’ll exert much more influence and have much more organizational impact if you have the respect of your colleagues. Respect accelerates your professional growth, your personal brand, and your career.
A recent study published in Harvard Business Review by Kristie Rogers of Marquette University, found that when it comes to the workplace, there are two major categories of respect: owed respect and earned respect.
In a healthy organization, “Owed respect is accorded equally to all members of a work group or an organization…It’s signaled by civility and an atmosphere suggesting that every member of the group is inherently valuable,” says Rogers. Whereas “earned respect recognizes individual employees who display valued qualities or behaviors. It distinguishes employees who have exceeded expectations.”
Earned respect, in other words, is inherently about distinguishing yourself from others. It’s about the habits and behaviors you display that make people sit up and take notice. Here are six habits displayed by people who earn respect at work.
1. They listen, even when it feels irrelevant.
People who are respected at work garner that respect because “they understand the value and power of relationships,” says Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew, author of the workbook for women “Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last.” They listen without always having to or without having an answer, says Booker-Drew. And when they listen, they’re all in. Research supports leaving cellphones outside the meeting room to ensure you’re listening closely. A recent study linked a clear correlation between decreased cognitive abilities and the presence of a nearby cell phone—even if the phone had notifications and sounds turned off. So, turn your phones off and your ears on. Your professional reputation will thank you.
2. They know when to practice quiet.
If you want to work in an environment of trust and respect, you need to contribute to that culture. And one of the greatest enemies of a healthy culture is backtalk.
“As a general rule, highly respected and trusted people do not gossip in the workplace,” says Val Grub, who has held senior roles at NBC Universal and Rolls-Royce, and is now Workplace Coach at TONE Networks. “While gossip may feel like idol chitchat, it’s actually bullying dressed up as information sharing.”
As a baseline, “If you wouldn’t say the comments to the person directly, there’s a really strong possibility you’re engaging in gossip.”
Many leadership experts agree that gossiping is a key indicator of an unhealthy organization, because all that negativity contributes to a serious lack of trust.
“Employee morale takes a major hit as well,” Grub says, “along with creativity and productivity. I tell my clients: if you hear gossip, shut it down. People will know they can trust you and your working life will be so much better for it.
3. They look out for others in meetings.
People who are respected at work often garner quite a bit of political capital. But they use that capital to help others, says Jeff Skipper, a consultant who works with many Fortune 500 companies.
“They draw others into the conversation that have been silent or don’t have the social strength to break into the discussion,” Skipper continues. “Or they strengthen another’s voice, lending instant credibility to a diverse thinker, which is often just what a team needs to break out of the box.”
The best thinking comes from the most diverse organizations. Support diverse points of view so you don’t reinforce the echo-chamber.
4. They see mistakes as a chance to get better.
Most respected people at work don’t kill precious time pointing fingers. When they commit a mistake, they own up to it. And if their team falters, they take collective responsibility.
“They spend time analyzing the root of the mistake, doing the required course corrections and learning from what happened,” says Ketan Kapoor, CEO and Co-Founder of Mettl.com, a talent measurement firm.
The most respected people are the ones who invest the time to become masters of their domain, and the only way to do that is to practice… a lot. Thomas Edison is reported to have once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
5. They hunt down solutions.
Every organization has problems, and most do not have a lack of people eager to point them out. A great way to build respect at work is to be a solution starter, says Shefali Raina, a New York City- based Executive coach.
“When you see a problem in your domain, collaborate with others to build a practical, workable solution, and then rally everybody and give energy to get it done,” Raina says. Getting things done by rallying others and energizing projects helps other people to see you as positive, credible and action oriented.
6. They respect their workplace as contributing to their career journey.
Millennials switch jobs more frequently than previous generations, says Raysha Clark, a licensed therapist and career coach who specializes in clients new to the workforce. While they may see this as no problem, the employers investing big bucks in their professional development can see things differently.
“New hires often have an amazing advantage in getting the latest and most up-to-date training in the organization,” she says. “Take the training with a sense of gratitude and find ways to use it to contribute to the greater good of your organization.”
Even if you see this job as merely a stepping stone, bring your entire self while you’re there. Just like any relationship, it takes two.
“Go into each position ready to be an asset, because a resume full of previous training means nothing if you don’t exercise what you’ve learned,” says Clark.
A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.
By: Meiko Takayama, Founder and CEO of Advancing Women Executives
After 17 years as the primary caregiver in our home, my husband went ‘back to work’ this summer. When he accepted the offer, we sat down and, among the many conversations, had to discuss the logistics of after-school pick-up for our kids. We’re lucky, though. If necessary, our teenagers can take a Lyft or Uber and fend for themselves until we get home. If they were younger and, if we didn’t live in an urban, rideshare happy city, we would have to confront the reality that school gets out at 3 and our work days don’t end until much later.
Then I came across this article, and as I read it, my blood began to boil. It begins by setting the scene in a small town in Connecticut, where parents camped out overnight to secure their child’s name on a waiting list for a town-sponsored after-school program. The article explains that the program can’t meet the demand for after-school care because of space and budget limitations and further indicates that this is a problem across the country; “this mismatch between school and workday, a relic of a bygone era and outdated family norms, has left parents and school districts scrambling to find a solution.”
And while there has certainly been progress in getting more women to the top, many companies still have no female senior executives – this is large in part due to a lack of affordable and convenient childcare options. A recent analysis from Childcare Aware America showed that in 28 U.S. states, childcare costs more than college tuition. And because mothers are 5.5 times more likely to handle household obligations than men, when childcare is too expensive, women end up being the parent who leaves the workforce to take care of the kids.
And we wonder why it’s taking so long to get more women CEOs.
Why are we looking to the already underfunded school systems, community resources, and stressed parents who are trying to make ends meet scramble to find a solution when companies may hold the key? It’s time for companies, especially large corporations with the budgets and size, to set an example and offer childcare options and more flexibility for in-person hours.
What if companies were to provide:
Onsite, subsidized childcare for newborns and toddlers (these 24 Fortune 100 companies are already doing this. Congratulations to our AWE client companies Time Warner, 21st Century Fox, Prudential Financial, and Cisco Systems for making the list!);
Transportation for school-aged children to the parent’s office and onsite care options including tutoring and recreational activities;
Summer calendars that coincide with the school calendar, that give parents the option to work from home or work remotely so they can spend more time with their family while their kids are out of school;
Budgets for breastfeeding mothers to travel with their newborn babies (including travel costs for a support person) so they can still travel for business, and in turn, continue to accelerate their career. Or at least pay for the mother to overnight ship her breastmilk home;
Benefits that cover the cost for an employee’s family to join them on business travel if the employee is going to be gone for more than a few days. (Including airfare, hotels, meals, childcare). Shout out to AWE client company, McMaster-Carr for already doing this!
A Results Only Work Environment (ROWE) – companies incentivize and base performance reviews on results rather than monitoring the number of hours or days in the office that the employee works. If goals are met, no questions are asked about when or how employees work.;
We actually implement ROWE at AWE, and it’s the workplace policy that I am most proud of because it allows employees like our Managing Director, Yael Utt, to walk her boys to school every day and stay home with her toddler on the day she doesn’t utilize a nanny share, or our Executive Coach, Brandon Maslan to be actively involved in raising his daughter, which allows his wife to have the space she needs to focus on her career and be an incredible mother.
If not ROWE, then work from home options for mothers transitioning back after maternity leave who may not want to leave a new baby with a caretaker or who may not have the financial means to do so; and
Half-day options so parents can pick their kids up from school and finish their workday from home. To take it a step further, imagine if companies incentivized parents who utilize flex-work to participate in programs at their child’s school?
You may be thinking, but companies aren’t in the business of helping employees become more involved parents, and you’re right, they’re not. But it benefits companies – and in many cases even contributes to increased productivity and profits – to support and encourage work-life balance. Not only are worry free parents more focused, but one of the biggest struggles they face (working mothers in particular) is not being able to “do it all.” And while companies certainly can’t turn parents into superheroes, they can give them an extra hand by way of childcare options and more flexibility for in-person hours.
Just a couple of days ago, The Wing – the women’s focused co-working and community space – announced that they are expanding the SoHo location to include, The Little Wing, an affordable and convenient child care program for moms who use the space. “If a company in just its second year of existence can begin to tackle the problem, it would seem logical that larger businesses could look harder at solutions they offer parents too.”
It’s amazing to think about where we can take modern workplaces, if only we have enough creativity to think outside the template we’ve followed for decades and more confidence to trust that the “risk” will be worth the reward. We already know that when employees feel valued, they work harder. In a market where even basic parental support sets a company apart, imagine the competitive edge employers can gain by offering comprehensive support such as flexible in-person hours or on-site childcare. It’s not just the key to solving the after-school problem, it’s the key to attracting and retaining top talent. C’mon corporate America – it’s time to step up your game!
In light of #NationalBossDay we sat down with our boss, Meiko Takayama, Founder and CEO of AWE to talk to her about her journey to the top.
Did you always want to be a boss?
I became a boss because I saw a need in the market and very naively said to myself, “If I don’t do this, who will?”
In 2011, I was an executive recruiter and I was hosting events for local-based, senior executive women to connect and to share best practices. At these events, women repeatedly said to me, “I didn’t realize there were so many of us out there.”
I thought it was a strange comment because we represent 50% of the population – but then I began to understand that we aren’t physically ‘out there’ because we aren’t networking and we aren’t ‘out there’ in numbers because there are few of us in senior positions at companies. The number of women at the top hasn’t changed dramatically in over a decade and I knew I had to do something. I could remain in executive recruiting to try and influence clients with diverse candidates but I realized that I could never achieve great scale with that model. That’s when I realized that I could expand upon the events that I had been hosting and a business was born. (Having gone to a women’s college and working previously in non-profit didn’t hurt the fact that I was creating a mission-focused company supporting the advancement of women!)
A few months after creating the business plan, I learned that my father had cancer and he died three weeks later. I was able to spend almost the entire three weeks with him, my mother and my sister, and during this time, he told me that, at this point in life, he was the happiest that he’d ever been.
These words stuck with me after he passed, and I realized that he was able to say this to me because he had lived such a fulfilled life and was able to let go. My father’s final act was very zen and I believe that it was a gift to my family. I then realized that if I were to share this gift with my family, I, too, would need to be able to say to myself that I’d done everything that I wanted to do in this life. With that fire beneath me, I realized that I better really get started in creating AWE. One month later AWE was officially up and running.
You asked if I always wanted to be a boss and the answer is no. However, I was born with rebel genes – from a banker turned artist paternal grandfather, to an unconventional thinking father, to an independent mother who left her native country at the age of 25 and never looked back.
An amalgamation of life events led me here and I am incredibly grateful they did because I know that my team and I are changing the world for the better
What is your favorite part about being a boss?
We regularly get emails and messages from women and men who tell us that we’ve changed their lives – from a woman who got the promotion, to a man who better understands the challenges that his wife faces each day, to a former employee who has learned how to better manage and influence within her new work environment. That’s really fantastic and it’s so rewarding to be part of a great team that generates that kind of positive response.
I also love watching the relationships that have been built amongst the AWE team. When I started the company, I never thought that I would create a place that would be the genesis of lifelong friendships.
What has been the biggest challenge?
There are so many! My biggest challenge is also related to the people I lead. My true strengths are in business and sales. I am a visionary and I love strategy, but a great boss needs to be able to flex her leadership to adapt to the diverse perspectives, interests, behavioral patterns, and learning styles of the people she works with. This is no easy task – and as a founder it’s especially difficult because you feel personally responsible for the lives of the people that you employ. There’s so much more to being a great boss than simply knowing how to run a business or make sales. I am fortunate to have surrounded myself with trusted partners who push me to flex into the spaces of leadership that are more challenging for me.
You mentioned that there’s so much more to being a great boss, than simply knowing how to run a business. What are 5 top qualities that you’ve noticed great bosses have?
In the thousands of executives I’ve talked to in my career and in my own experience – these are the areas that I like to improve for myself each day:
Know when and how to let go. This is something that I am still working on, but it’s so important. Great bosses acknowledge that they can’t do everything. They delegate where they can and trust the talent they hired. By relinquishing control they create space to strategize on a macro scale. Which brings me to my next point…
Think big picture – on everything from operations, to people management, to how to stay relevant in the marketplace. The world is changing faster than we can keep up, the most effective leaders that I’ve met keep their heads up.
Be an effective communicator. Great bosses grow their network and build strong relationships before they need something. Additionally, they value and can deliver smooth, concise, and compelling stories.
Roll up your sleeves. While delegation is crucial, teams trust and respect a leader that is willing to get in the trenches with them.
Have the WOW factor. Everyone has had a smart boss, but being led by someone who you admire and are inspired by, that’s something special. Great bosses have a keen ability to inspire and unite a team around the vision.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to the aspiring bosses out there?
If you are ruminating on an idea, a title change, or a raise, go for it! Don’t wait until you feel ready. That’s the biggest mistake that many people (especially women) make. They think that they need to be 100% prepared before taking that leap, when men often take the leap knowing that they are only partially qualified. Let go of the fear of failing and of everything that tells you that you’re not good enough because you are. Imagine what the world would be like if all women had the same confidence of an average white man.
Last, remember that just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean you can’t be it.
Connect with Meiko here.